I am a student at in Uru Mānuka. In 2020 I was a year 9 and in 2021 I will be a year 10. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
Thanks for for sharing this Jaxon. You have used some excellent language features in this recount and used the senses to describe this event effectively. I like how you have used similes, this makes it more interesting for the audience. Jaxon you need to spend more time proof reading your work and making improvements. Is there a better way to present your work which might include sight, sound and motion? I look forward to reading more of your writing on your blog
Comments Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about
Well done Jaxon i like your work
ReplyDeleteWow done Jaxson i like your work keep it up..
ReplyDeleteThanks for for sharing this Jaxon. You have used some excellent language features in this recount and used the senses to describe this event effectively. I like how you have used similes, this makes it more interesting for the audience.
ReplyDeleteJaxon you need to spend more time proof reading your work and making improvements. Is there a better way to present your work which might include sight, sound and motion?
I look forward to reading more of your writing on your blog
Thank you for the feed back Mr Scott maybe I could use Screen Castify next time.
DeleteThank you for the feed back Mr Scott maybe I could use Screen Castify next time.
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