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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The present

W.A.L.T:  Write a narrative


Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when….

  • The title is suitable for the text.
  • The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
  • The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
  • The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
  • Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.

In Ako Ngatahi we had to write a narrative about a video. It was about a boy opening a present that was a dog with three legs. Here is the video of the present. I hope you enjoy my story.




Hello my name is Alex I was playing on my Xbox game, Call of duty modern warfare 3 then my mum came in with a box and opened the blinds but I carried on playing on my Xbox then my mum told me that she had a present for me.   The present was a little dog. The dog had brown eyes and 3 legs and the dog had a fluffy body. The dog  was in a box and it came out barking at me. I was so happy with the dog until I realized that the dog had only three legs. I was angry so I threw the dog to the ground because I didn’t like it. In my head I was saying to myself that I don’t like dogs that has only  three legs. When I threw the dog to the ground the dog looked at a red ball and went and got it, then the dog came to me with the ball. The dog felt excited to play with me with the ball outside but I said no!. The dog kept on trying to ask me if I could play with him outside with the ball but I said no get lost! The dog tried to get me to play with him but I stilled Ignored him. Then the little dog started to act a bit sad\ which made me feel sorry for him so I went outside playing around with the dog and being silly. I turned off my xbox and played outside with my little dog. I was having so fun with the little dog that this was my favorite present. And what was pretty cool was that me and the dog had a missing leg. I feel sorry for my dog from what i first thought of him.
I hope I am happy with him now we are best friends until
`we die.

3 comments:

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  3. Wow good job Jaxon I like the end. I hope I am happy with him now we are best friends until we die. I love that bit because it is so sweet. I would say to add anything else but it's all good. I hope you post more like this because it is awesome! Keep up the good work.

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