I am a student at in Uru MÄnuka. In 2020 I was a year 9 and in 2021 I will be a year 10. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
Cool story! Jaxon, I really like the part when you said "The cloud made of more." it is painting a good picture in my head, but i think you need to check your punctuation and also read your story because some parts don't make sense like "I go through the traffic light i see beside me a multi coloured cloud it is so amazing." it didn't really make sense because you didn't put any punctuation. what was that deep voice you were talking about?
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Cool story! Jaxon, I really like the part when you said "The cloud made of more." it is painting a good picture in my head, but i think you need to check your punctuation and also read your story because some parts don't make sense like "I go through the traffic light i see beside me a multi coloured cloud it is so amazing." it didn't really make sense because you didn't put any punctuation. what was that deep voice you were talking about?
ReplyDeleteThank you Mr.Scott I will make sure my next story will make sense.
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